By Christina Rafael, Photographer/Videographer
In elementary
school she ditched you at recess. In junior high she stole your boyfriend. And
in high school she blamed you when the teacher caught her cheating. As an
adult, well, she’s the friend that you’ve been in a silent fight with for the
last three months.
Back in easier
times one could choose to just find new friends, move on and better yourself.
In the adult world, one where you must network constantly, you’ll need better
tactics.
So what do you do
when a fight that has been simmering blows up in your face? Well, ladies, you
handle your words like a PR professional.
When journalism
Professor Morris Brown taught “Introduction to Public Relations,” he gave a
simple list of question to answer when introduced to a PR crisis.
What is the
problem?
Why is
there a problem?
What are
the probable causes of the problem?
How serious
is the problem?
Who is
affected by the problem?
What has
been done to solve the problem?
This situation
analysis is useful when identifying issues, figuring out if they’re worth
fighting over and assessing how you’ve done so far. When dealing with women,
it’s best to choose your battles and often admit wrong doing for problems not
worth an escalation.
If there is a
problem which you’ve personally caused, it’s best to own up to said problem by
following a basic to-do list from gigaom.com:
Confess.
State
what you did. Own up to it. Be clear and candid. Give enough details.
Apologize.
Say,
“I apologize” — not just, “I’m sorry” — for whatever it is you did.
Rectify.
How
will you make the current situation better? What are the short-term and
reactive measures?
Prevention/Reformation.
What
are the long-term and preemptive steps that will assure this doesn’t happen
again — ever?
Seek
forgiveness. This
is important. Don’t forget to ask for forgiveness from those impacted.
If a situation is
not your fault yet becomes thrust upon you, it’s best to tread lightly but
stand your ground. Remember that every word can be like stepping in a
minefield; you never know what will cause an explosion.
It’s best to
approach the offender in a neutral space, like a coffee shop, where things have
less ability to reach epic proportions. Once you are able to sit down, have
what the industry calls a “truth-room session” with the friend.
During a
traditional truth-room session, a consultant tells a client something that's
probably true, but not flattering. In a frenemy truth-room session, you’ll need
to lay all cards on the table and confront with as little assumptions as
possible.
Although these tips
help solve most arguments, there comes a time when a friendship has run its
course and you must cut ties with the friend. As a PR professional, cutting
ties and rebranding is part of the industry and sometimes the best solution
after a crisis has been addressed.
Dealing with your
frenemy as a PR professional is the best way to keep arguments as classy as
possible, leave little backlash to you and the best way to take the high road.
Below are some
helpful articles about handling professional or personal crisis management
situations.
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